Sunday, January 8, 2012

The rules are there are no rules...

I'm not sure what kind of research went into it, or what the criteria was, but I don't understand how the term “sick as a dog” was coined. Where do they get off being all sicker than the rest of the species on the planet? And around our particular household, when dogs get sick, they go eat some grass and work it out themselves and quickly. They don't lay around rolling from one side to the other trying to counter-act the nausea. Nope. So, two days ago I was sickER than a dog. I don't know the ins and outs of the entire malady as quite a few things were working against me. I don't want to bore you or gross you out with the particulars other than to say, I was throwing up a lot. You don't really want to get on the computer while this is going on, even if it is a desktop. Because if the urge hits and you don't react quickly enough, it may only be the keyboard that gets the business instead of the ENTIRE computer that is a laptop, but cleaning a keyboard to the degree of salvaging it is tough. And also gross. Probably that was more detail than I promised not to give you but now you really know why I have missed out on providing you the posts that you have so been yearning for. As for yesterday, I was in recovery. Throwing up is tiring stuff and makes my shoulders all tight from cinching up for the throwing up so I did a lot of lounging. Here's one more token throwing up before moving on the next paragraph.

So, here are a couple of updates for you.

Food: I bought some Christmas clearance candy again yesterday. I know. I know. Chocolate is sort of my go to at this point instead of liquor. I reach out for something that will be immediate fulfillment and instant gratification when I'm Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (I'm adding in Mental – we will talk about that another time. The thing is that HALT works way better than HALTM. Or maybe it could be MHALT but then that makes me thing of malts which makes me think of chocolate shakes and ice cream and such).  So now I eat chocolate. I'm not sure if that is better, worse or the same as having a few hundred cocktails daily. Just kidding! It wasn't THAT bad! Both are sugar based empty calories. Both provide empty comfort. Both can leave you with a sick feeling when you have too much. You feel sluggish and have a headache in the aftermath of too much. Also, both tend to be secretive – one because it's shameful and the other because I don't want to SHARE my chocolate. Hmmm. The evidence is piling up in not substituting chocolate for liquor. On the other hand, one is legal to drive with in your system if you have some or a lot. One doesn't impair your judgment (you know, aside from feeling compelled to always, always buy it when it is 70% off and wrapped in seasonal colors AND comes in flavors that you can't get any other time of the year). One day, I will figure out how to defeat addiction all together instead of it transforming into a different version. One day. But here is some GOOD news.

Spending fast: There was some other stuff that was also 70% off. I didn't go for the boxes or wrapping paper or any of that. I did go for the Blokus board game. I LOVE board games. I don't even need to win. I love close games.  Those are my favorite.  So, like, (yeah, I'm a product of the '80s.  That's right.) I don't understand when Hubs is watching HIS team and gets ticked off that they didn't win by 35 points or more.  It's not enough that the team won.  It doesn't truly count unless they pummeled the other team.  Is that a guy thing?  I think a game that comes down to the last seconds is way more compelling.  Not that of that matters because I couldn't care less about sports of any kind and don't care how they begin or end.  Also, I don't care about the middle.  But we aren't talking about sports.  We are talking about board games.  And what I'm saying is that I'm thrilled to have a great competition and lose against formidable opponents. Also to win against formidable opponents. It's true. I play Words with Friends on my iPhone with several games going against a few friends and I win my fair share. Perhaps my opponents would argue that I win far more than my fair share. That's fair. But I think I'm making better players out of them. So, I guess you could say that beating them is actually a public service. Iron sharpening iron and all. But I have one nemesis who pretty much beats me all the time. And I don't mind a bit. It doesn't mean I don't try to win against her. I just love that I lose by trying my best. On the other hand, I played against one friend who played by adding one letter, maybe two, to the board at any given time. I won like 470 – 50 against him. Pretty hard to feel triumphant or proud of that one. It's like snatching a lollipop from a kid who hates candy or something. I don't know if it's like that. I've never done that and haven't fully thought through what that feels like. It sounded good at the time. Anywho, I have played Blokus exactly once in my life. And from that once, I have wanted to add it to the collection of games I have that no one plays with me. God love him, but Hubs is not into board games. He plays them with me about once a year because we have the games and he's not a fan of seeing us spend money on stuff that goes unused. Probably he does it for me a little too. Blokus is usually $25-$30 depending on the store and the time of year and what-not. That's not an appropriate price for a game that will only sit on a pile of other games waiting for the children to think the innards of the box are pretty or useful in their pretend game of anything and ruin the opportunity to play the game ever again. Because it's hopeless to try to buy property if you don't have the property cards. Or build houses on the property when you don't know how much they cost because you don't have the property cards. Or the houses to put on the property. So. Blokus was $9. And you know what I did? I texted Hubs and asked him about it. Of course, I was of the mindset that I wanted it and I would likely buy it no matter what he said. But he said okay. I think it's because he wants a Roku player and he could probably justify that cost a little more if he lets me win one here and there. Probably he did it for me a little too. But the point is that I checked in because board games are not edible (unless it's one of those chocolate ones they sell around Christmas time - but this wasn't one of those) and they don't clean anything (unless you are betting the bank on them and lose.  But we aren't the gambling type.  Because we don't have the money to gamble and gambling is addictive behavior.  And, as you may recall, we have established that I'm not so good with doing addictive stuff).  Anywho, I was true to my word and  talked (texted) through an extraneous purchase. I am now the proud owner of Blokus. Anyone want to play?

Cleaning: I'm doing laundry right now. Yes, I'm counting it towards the cleaning. Leave me alone.

I read this article about words that should be banished for the year 2012. I would like to point out that I haven't even used a lot of those words! Isn't that AMAZING? Mostly it's because I am too busy making up my own or slaughtering the ones that already exist. People have been doing it for lots of years. That's how Webster's stays strong - by having to add words that start out as slang entries but become part of the lexicon. Also, if I'm going to identify myself as a writer, I don't think that I should be limited to the rules of grammar and words that already exist. There get to be innovators in just about every field. People discover new uses for old stuff all the time. Scientist discover new species. Mathematicians come up with theoretical equations that can never been proven (how cushy is THAT job? I could do that job. I come up with math that doesn't make sense and doesn't add up all the time. I could just come up with some cockamamie letters other than x, y and a and b and call it a day – and a paycheck. Prove me wrong suckahs! You can't!). Astronomers or Physicists or whoever discover new solar systems and planets (Pluto). Also they undiscover stuff (Pluto). But as a writer, you are left with two things: your voice and the material and tools that everyone else has access to as well. That maybe turned into three things that a writer is left with.  I'll come up with an equation that justifies me calling it two and get back to you with that.  So, how does a writer stand out? I don't fully trust that my voice is strong enough or experienced enough to be to make my mark yet. So, to distinguish myself, I say to hell with the rules and regulations! I will rebel against the oppression and the tyranny of the confines of standard English. I will use fragments and run-on sentences and I will overuse commas.  Oh. I'll do it.  Also, do you know how many legitimate words defy the “all-knowing” spell check? Many, that's how many. Like “texted”. And it wanted to put a space between "I" and Phone. It won't even let me make that a lower case "I" to make my point!!  Apple should be outraged. So I say that language is flexible and I shall use and bend it to my whimwill. That's what I say. Speaking of which, that draws us to my next resolution.

6. Do something creative every day. When you don't win accolades or critical acclaim daily for doing something you love, it can dishearten you a little and make you a little uncertain about your abilities and talents. And by you, I mean me. And by me, I mean I. Because to insert me in the above sentence is lunacy and totally incorrect grammar. But it is correct in the spirit of the meaning. Now, perhaps one, and by one, I mean I, should actually submit various forms of creativity to be critiqued, judged and rendered brilliant. But then I would be subjected to critique and judgement and be vulnerable to hearing that I am NOT brilliant. And who wants that kind of heartache? It's way safer to believe in my brilliance in my own head and then cry in the middle of Jungle Jim's when someone sends me a personal message just to tell me that she thinks I'm a little brilliant in my writing as well. That's just good strategy for an uptight person.

Speaking of uptight, that's another reason why I am a little uncertain in my talents and abilities. In addition to being a writer, I'm a scrapbooker (another word that my spell check can't stand). But my best work comes from copying someone else's ideas. I look at other people's layouts or sketches and develop my page from there. Probably if you don't scrap, that sounded like jibber-jabber. But this is compelling information to enhance my point, I can tell you. I can't free-hand doodle. I look at all these amazing (sorry!!) doodles and it's become a real art-form. I try to do it and there is all this white space that I don't know how to fill. And then I get paralyzed looking at all the blankness and get doodler's block. When I'm cooking, it's more miss than hit if I just throw stuff together rather than taking a recipe and tweaking it. So the long and short of it is that I am not comfortable in inventing much from scratch. I'm less creative and more re-creative. Whether I write (by typing or with an actual pen because I hate pencils), or scrapbook, color, crochet, or take some time to fiddle around with my camera because I have no idea why there are settings other than automatic, I get happy. It truly fills my soul to do something re-creative, to refill a well that I believe God made in me to pour out into world for whatever purpose He sees fit. Remember, The meaning of life is to find your gift.  The purpose of life is to give it away”.  I think when I get quiet and listen that voice within, I have the gift found. That means that the work is in the giving it away. So, here. This is for you, if you want it. I can now officially check off today as a successful day of working on my resolutions. I gotta go. I'm looking to earn bonus points by FINISHING the laundry. Stupid laundry. On the other hand, I'll most certainly eat some of that Christmas candy which would cancel out the bonus points. If I eat enough, I might even cancel out the points for this entry. I am my own most formidable opponent. I'll call it all a draw. Drawing is creative.


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